Blackbeans and Porkchops

Finally had our anniversary dinner, that actually became lunch 2 days later. Didn't matter, was a totally enjoyable time made even more so with you at the table eating blackbeans and porkchops and telling the waiter "See you later, mr. Alligator." He didn't miss a beat, "after while, Crocodile."

Is There A Doctor In The House?

Tonight you visited the hospital to see our friend who had knee replacement surgery. You took your own doctor bag. I heard it was a hit; you made her feel better, and impressed a nurse or two. Too bad you don't have a white lab coat to go with the kit.

whoever coined the expression "...like taking candy from a baby" has obviously never experienced the power that Starbursts hold over two-and-a-half year olds. Hopefully the next batch of holidays will not involve a stash of candy that is stockpiled like pirate loot. It can almost make both of us lose our minds.

Some funny stuff...

Been a while since I posted. Some funny stuff happened...you have learned a plethora of words. Also you have mastered calling me "Daddy" with a proper British accent. Not sure where that came from. At your check-up we counted the number of words you knew while we waited to be called back. 40 is the number we came up with. That's a lot for someone your age. That was 2 months ago. Now you know well over 100 words! I have contemplated learning Chinese so I can teach you. They say that it will be the language for your generation. I've also threatened to get you a pair of chopsticks to learn to eat with. One day when I was changing you I swear you said you had cat poop in your diaper. Lately we have been working on ABC's while on the way to school. You may not have the letters down but you sure can carry a tune! It also seems you could be a little boy-crazy. You chant the name of a classmate, "Parker, Parker, Parker" from the time your mom picks you up in the afternoon until the time you go back to school in the morning. Either you like him or he gets in trouble a lot and you are imitating the teacher. Playdough and Coloring are two of your favorite activities now. Could the arts be in your future? I'll just make sure to keep you supplied in crayons. Preferably the kind that are flat so they dont keep rolling off the table.

20 and 20 on the Twentieth

Today you are twenty months old, and it is our twentieth wedding anniversary. All on the twentieth of April. A lot has happened during the last 20 months as well as the last 20 years. You have become a terrific toddler and your mom and I have matured in our love. Not sure if you have rushed the white hairs or not, could just be age, but we have survived your childhood so far. I look at pictures of our early days and cant wait to tell you some of our stories. They will become part of our history as a family, 20 years in the making.

Monkey Lips

With the cold days of winter upon us we have to make sure any of your exposed areas are protected! Your mom, in our morning routine, puts chapstick on your lips and cheeks. At first you didn't quite know what to do and tried to lick it off your lips. Don't feel bad, I still do that! After a couple of times you got the hang of it and pucker up when she gets the tube of chapstick out. We call it giving you "monkey lips." This could explain your love of bananas.

Long In The Tooth

I never quite got why the expression "long in the tooth" referred to getting older until now. Your teeth, which had been in for many months now, are beginning to get longer. I didn't realize this but your mom pointed it out to me. Guess I didnt notice, but she is better abour brushing your teeth than I am. As you have aged beyond "infancy" and towards "toddlerhood" your teeth have grown longer and sharper. Rabbits teeth grow over their lifetime, getting longer and longer as they age. Your teeth wont do that, but I am glad you are over your biting phase. These long teeth of yours would really hurt now!

Chopsticks, Or A Fork In the Road

You have been doing pretty good with self-feeding. When we have mealtime you are craving more and more independence to feed yourself. You are graduating from fingers to utensils. It is cool to watch you with your little spoon and fork. You hold the very end of the utensil and make the long journey from the plate to your mouth. It is a hit and miss situation. Sometimes the food falls off the spoon long before it gets to the target. The dog circles your high chair like a shark on a feeding frenzy. He has taken on a bit of weight lately and leaves his kibble in the bowl in favor of your food dropped overboard from the high chair. On the occasion that you do get a mouthful, you chew it up heartily. Usually it is just a morsel. We let you try and do as much as possible before we intervene. If you arent ready for us to help, you refuse. We have learned that and eat our own dinner and let you continue to do it for yourself. Sometimes you take the opposite end of the spoon or fork and stab your food with it like a spear. I think you might have better success with a pair of chopsticks.

Illustrious

We love to read to you, and every couple of weeks I have been checking out a bunch of books from the public library. They have a great children's room. The children's books have such vivid illustrations in them. I was amazed at them. It has been a long time since I have read books with pictures, and I found them to be like works of art. The whole page is usually filled from corner to corner with beautiful illustrations: Colorful jungle scenes that look like a tropical paradise, serene cerrulean blue water in books about sea creatures, pictures of farmyard animals done in primary colors, and even eye-catching books about winter. There are textured books, with rough, smooth, soft, shiny, bumpy textured things to touch. There are books that have tongue twisting rymes too. When we read we sometimes act out the story or read in dramatic voices. From my lap you imitate as we do these things. Of course, you like some of the books better than others and we read them over and over and over again. And then again. And then one more time.

Toddler Angst Part Two: High-Five

I get into trouble sometimes when I drop you off. It all started when I high-fived you at school one morning. All the babies saw me and wanted to high-five me too. Well, guess who didn't want their daddy high-fiving anyone else? You even acted like you were going to hit one of them. I even bumped knuckles with a couple of them. Then I left before things got ugly. Sometimes I could just stay in the room and play with all the kids in your class the rest of the day instead of going to work. I don't think you would mind if I stayed as long as you were the only one I played with.

First Haircut

When your mom made an appointment to get her hair done I suggested it was time for you to get a trim too. Your hair was getting a little unmanageable at times. It always laid pretty after a shampoo but something crazy seemed to happen to it while you slept that made it hard to control in the mornings. She talked to her stylist and made your appointment too. We went to the salon and let you run around and get comfortable. Then you sat in my lap while the stylist did a quick few trims with her scissors. You were such a little angel! She kidded us that this was going to make you "high maintenance." The haircut looks great. Amazing what a little snip here and there can do. It lays so nice now, even in the mornings. And it has thickened up too. Pretty soon you will be wearing those cute hair bows.

Toddler Angst Part 1: Reality Bites

With toddlerhood comes a whole new attitude. While you are still amazingly sweet, you seem to have developed a counterpart: the toddler terror. When you are in this terrorizer mode anything can happen. You have a mouth full of teeth now and you are learning how to use them. Your mom thought you were going to give her a hug the other day, and then was surprised to find that you sank those pretty little teeth right into her collarbone! You nipped me once but didn't break the skin. When I picked you up from school one day, your teacher proceeded to tell me that you had bitten her. Mortified, I asked her for details and how we should correct this behavior and she told me that it was just typical toddler behavior. She said that she had something that you wanted and that you didnt know how to express that with your words, so you did the only thing that you knew to do in that situation; you bit her. She said it was just a phase and that all toddlers do it. I think you just have a bad case of toddler angst. I just hope that this is not a precursor to your teenage years.

Octoberfest

October blew through our household like a headless horseman. If it could be caught, then you would be the one to do it. But it cant, and no matter how fast you are it has passed like so many falling leaves in a whirlwind of activity that has been a lot of work but a lot of fun too. We went to our college homecoming. It was our twentieth year reunion. You were a good sport for the first quarter of the football game and then it was time to go home and end it on a good note. You graduated to a big carseat. It is a throne compared to the infant one you had for the first year. We went to an Autumn Jubilee where we painted your first pumpkin. It had butterflies and flowers on it. You told me what to paint and I did it. There was also your first carousel ride. I think you were a little apprehensive about the horses, but when we rode it for the second time you liked being in the sleigh. You began walking in a new direction: backwards. Not quite the 'moonwalk', but close enough. And you started saying quite a few words. A mouthful, to be exact. Mom, dog, duck, bowl, hi, hello, dad, ma'am. I'm sure there are a few I forgot. Then for halloween you were the cutest little sock monkey ever! No tricks, just treats. That is what this October has been.

Tiptoe Through The Turquoise

Ok, it was my idea/fault. After you started walking I wanted to paint your toenails. There was some concern on your mom's part. Afterall, you were still putting those toes in your mouth occasionally. Understandably, we waited. Then the night before your birthday we decided to go ahead and paint them. I wanted to paint them turquoise. We needed something bright, bold, and daring. Those toenails were pretty small and we needed a bright color to show them off. Turquoise seemed to be just the shade. At first your mom was a little skeptical, but I convinced her. I was relentless. That evening when you were asleep, we did the deed! When you woke you noticed them and tried to grab your toenails. Something happened while you were sleeping to to turn them to a bright, beautiful color. Suprisingly the polish went with many of your outfits. We didn't realize just how many of your outfits had a splash of turquoise in them. Your mom liked it too. She even painted her toenails to match yours. You looked cool, like a big girl.

Walk On The Wild Side

About three weeks before your birthday you started walking. Hallelujah! Mobile at last! At first it was baby steps along walls and furniture and then you started venturing out back and forth between me and your mom. I really wanted you to be walking before your birthday and you did. Now a few well placed baby gates are in order to keep you safe. A lot of parents I talked to say that they lost weight when their babies started walking. I hope that is the case. I had also heard that barefoot is the best way to learn to walk and now I am cinvinced that it is true. That is the way you learned. Barefoot running is a trend in adults nowadays. Before long that is what you will be doing. And I will be chasing you. Or running from you, whatever the case may be. Barefoot, as usual.

Decidedly Un-dignified

I will say this much, baby, you have kept me humble. It is not easy to maintain your sense of dignity while parenting a toddler. Would a grown man ever wear a little girls pink fedora style hat perched on the very top of his head by his own choice? The easy answer is no, but I have done so to keep you from throwing it in the yard as I carry you to or from the car. If the neighbors see me, so what. Let them think what they want. I am sacrificing my dignity for a greater cause; your happiness. Another dignity shredder is the times we spend racing around the grocery store talking nonstop to you in a fast moving shopping cart. Look out little old ladies, our girl likes to be on the move. Stopping could be a problem, and slowing down can give you the blues, so sometimes we get the cart moving pretty quick in the name of happiness. It is even better if I get one of the noisy carts. We do pretty good until we are stuck in the check-out line. Then things could get ugly really quick unless we do whatever undignified thing we can think of to keep you entertained. We have an arsenal of tricks up our sleeves to keep you entertained. You are usually not the only one watching, but hey, that's life. The cashiers and baggers have to have something to keep them amused. Even our simple act of worship at church has been transformed by you. I can now say that I can worship unashamed as you pull my hair, pinch my face, or throw your toys across the room. You wave and greet everyone all across the room, play peek-a-boo with the people behind us, and even make me wear your hairbow to keep you from throwing it. I am just waiting for you to distract whomever is leading worship, preaching, or praying. All I want to do is try to worship with you in my arms. If you squeal, then so be it; it just might give me or someone else the courage to do the exact same thing and just let loose in a decidedly un-dignified way.

Food Crawl

It seems that lately we have been on a food crawl, feeding you from our plate as we explore some of our favorite culinary venues. You are quite skilled in your social behavior. For your age, though, we will let you get away with a few things. Occasionally you have been known to talk with your mouth full. And chew with your mouth open. And bang your fists on the table. And stare at the diners around us. Your charm, however, makes any of these violations right. At least you don't put your elbows on the table. The servers at most restaurants usually make a big deal over you. You take this as your cue to personally take over all of their attention. At the mexican restaurant you had the entire wait staff at your disposal. They all waved and blew kisses at you from across the restaurant, generally ignoring the other patrons. At Starbucks you usually stop service completely as we let you stand up on the counter and wave at all the baristas.
As far as the food itself, you love the refried beans at mexican restaurants. You even ate some of my enchilada and some ground beef. This was probably your favorite entree. At Cracker Barrel you simply loved their biscuits and green beans. Their mashed potatoes were good too. Arby's has some amazing roast beef and jamocha shakes. IHOP has the best pancakes around. Or was it the maple syrup that got you so excited to be there? Who says Starbucks is not for babies? We didn't let you have any latte, but you did try their raspberry pound cake and found it to be delicious; thus making it the quintessential place to grab an in-between meals snack. The bottom line is this, my future food critic, Life can be like a buffet if you have a fearless appetite and good manners. Tip your waiters and waitresses.

But Mom, It's Only A Tattoo!

Several people have asked us when we are going to get your ears pierced. This question started almost immediately after we brought you home from the hospital. I have this thing about infants wearing earrings, it just looks ridiculous to me; yet I see babies wearing earrings all the time. They reminds me of the big bald-headed earring-wearing genie from Aladin without the baggy pants and the fancy bottle. Now if you were one of those really ugly babies, earrings may serve as a distraction from ugliness. In the case of those androgynous baby girls that always get mistaken for being little boys, earrings may help with gender identification. Those things can always be overcome by fashion. Earrings on an infant just look silly. Usually the people who love earrings on a baby girl balk at lip rings, nose rings, and eyebrow rings. The standard answer I give to everyone who asks "When are you going to get her ears pierced?" is this: "We have decided to wait and get her piercings after her first tattoo." This usually stops any further line of questioning dead in its tracks.

Wouldn't Rain On Your Parade

I wouldn't rain on your parade. Well, maybe if it was for your own good then I would have to. Your mom and I marched in a bunch of parades when we were in the marching band in school. Today you got to be in your very first parade. It was a tractor parade. You and your mom rode on a float pulled by your Papaw's antique tractor. You had lots of fun with your cousins. There was no rain in site for this parade. In fact, there was so much sunshine that you wore sunblock and a hat. Your mom said you did good until close to the end. Then you started to get a little fussy because you were hot. It was for the fourth of July. If it wasn't hot it wouldn't seem right.

Who's The Bully?

I have my own theory, but I asked your teachers who the bully was in your class. One of them said that all the babies take turns 'bullying' and 'exerting themselves.' I think she wanted to laugh. My theory is that YOU are the bully. You are always beating me and your mom up. You had to get practice somewhere, and the babies in your class helped you get your moves. A favorite one is hair pulling. Then you like to pinch noses. Then you put your thumbs in our eye sockets. We should just throw up a white flag and surrender.